She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

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It might be easy to just think of sex in terms of preparing, getting it done, and then falling asleep. Instead, she should be on her back with her legs slightly bent and spread just enough for your head to fit between them. Shortform note: Kerner recommends continuing your tongue strokes throughout your partner’s orgasm to ensure that you’re giving her a complete experience. Well, I can honestly say that both of us were pleasantly surprised by just how effective the ways can be.

However, if your partner takes longer than average to get aroused and orgasm, your tongue and fingers might begin to tire at this point.During foreplay, you want to focus on building sexual tension by doing things that build anticipation for the climax. The clitoris is three times more sensitive than the vaginal wall, and women who suffer from vaginal agenesis (i.

Luckily, sex experts explain that there are sex toys that can fulfill Kerner’s advice without exhausting you further. To more accurately judge when to move to the next step, look for changes in her breathing pattern (like irregular breathing) and tightening of her abdominal muscles.

Coreplay should be an uninterrupted process, but it can be broken down into stages so that it’s easier to understand.

Our referral links allow us to earn commissions (at no extra cost to you) and keep the site running. These are: the head, the G-spot, the public mound, the front commissure, the frenulum, the inner lips, the vaginal entrance, the fourchette, the perineum, and the anus. Some women release ejaculate—Kerner notes that this is a unique alkaline liquid from the female equivalent of the prostate, not urine. Shortform note: Kener says that to continue having good sex in the future, you should cuddle, talk, and spend some time together after your session.He explains that stimulating your female partner before touching her clitoris is necessary because women require anticipation to become properly aroused. Whereas Kerner recommends activities that will help you engage in foreplay (sexy hints, fantasizing, tender physicality, and sensual physicality), these experts argue that the best way to practice foreplay is by embracing a specific mindset that shapes how you view your partner and your relationship. It's time to close the sex gap and create a level playing field in the exchange of pleasure, and cunnilingus is far more than just a means for achieving this noble end; it's the cornerstone of a new sexual paradigm, one that exuberantly extols a shared experience of pleasure, intimacy, respect and contentment. This was a newer idea in 2003 when She Comes First was published, as foreplay had previously been considered the sexual activities that come immediately before sex. Kerner emphasizes that it’s important to strike a balance between action and stillness when performing cunnilingus.

In my opinion, one of the things that make this book work so well is the author's holistic approach to the female mind and body. A woman's body is much more complex than it may seem at first style, as I demonstrated with my earlier review about the clitoris. This guide will explain female sexual anatomy, Kerner’s proven techniques to satisfy women, and how to integrate these techniques into your next intimate session to make your female partner orgasm. The entire clitoris actually goes from the top of the pubic bone all the way to the anus, and has a head, shaft, and base, among other parts.

Any man who wants to have a happy, healthy sex life and truly know what a woman wants should definitely be reading this book. Once you’ve established a rhythm that increases her arousal and continues to build anticipation, Kerner says you can introduce manual stimulation with your hands and fingers. Still, there are also chapters on incorporating manual pleasure (a very important complement to cunnilingus), transitioning to intercourse and practical information on safe sex, in addition to parts that touch very briefly on things such as toys, light bondage, and sexual matters such as premature ejaculation. They theorize that rhythm is what causes orgasm because with each repeated motion, neural pathways are extended and nerve signals reach further and further until the orgasmic threshold is reached. I thought this would be much better than guessing what the book was teaching men, and also open an effective line of communication on the subject.